I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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