What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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