Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize