I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
