I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
