Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
