There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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