how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
