i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
