There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
did i walk over a car last night?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
