You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
