Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
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i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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