worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
