But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize