how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
