I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
