You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
