I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
