if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
