I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
