He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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