I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
