dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF ITβLL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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