sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
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