when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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