I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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