Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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