farters have to be the big spoon...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Randomize
