Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I am available for nakedness
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
