peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
