I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
