Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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