where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
