The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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