I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
