Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
