I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
