Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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