I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
