He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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