Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
