I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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