I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
She's JV to your varsity
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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