not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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