you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
