Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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