Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
