You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
