I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
