girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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