We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
