I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
