Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
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