ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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