You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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