I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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