I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
