then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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