i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
