This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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