Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
