Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize