He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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