i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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