worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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