Did you just see the Batmobile???
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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