My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
