I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
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don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
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Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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