yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
