he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
