No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
